Them blue shells shan’t have them wings.
So, Mario Kart 7 is just one month away, and what better way to celebrate, than see how much Mario Kart Wii sucked.
Okay, okay. I’m just kidding about Mario Kart Wii sucking, but the game did have huge problematic issues. Below is a blog written by me a long time ago after Mario Kart 7 was announced. Keeping that in mind, there are a lot of things that may or may not have already been revealed since I wrote the post originally. The words marked in red are comments made after the original article was written. So sit back and relax, and take a look at what Mario Kart 7 needs to do to make it BETTER than Mario Kart Wii (and honestly, that isn’t all that hard to do).
The Mario Kart series has its ups and downs, and you have to admit, the Wii version was a bit of a downer. But with the 3DS version of Mario Kart less than a month away, it’s time to take a look at what Mario Kart Wii did wrong, and what Mario Kart 7 needs to fix.
RETHINK THE ITEMS
Mario Kart items have always been known to be wacky, but the items in Mario Kart Wii were downright annoying, or even absolutely cheap. There are several items that REALLY need to be redone.
Thundercloud – This thing really needs to just get removed from the game. There’s nothing worse than getting this dreaded when you’re not first, but in second or third place, especially if there is no one around you to pass it along. If Nintendo does indeed make the decision to put the Thundercloud back in Mario Kart 7, which I am glad they decided not to, I hope that it won’t be used automatically, so that if your friend gets it if they’re first, they’ll have no way to shield themselves with a banana from red shells (seriously guys, stop being cheap) or you can actually wait for some guy to cross your path and use it for your own benefit.
Blue Shell – The blue shell has been a staple in the Mario Kart series, so I doubt Nintendo will remove it from the 3DS version, but what I wish that Nintendo would do is bring back the original blue shell that traveled by land. That way, if you’re in last position, it will actually HELP you instead of only helping second place get closer to winning. Also, the frequency of these things really needs to get lowered drastically. It’s one thing to get hit by a blue shell, but it’s a whole other thing getting hit by one three times in under ten seconds. Fortunately for us, the wingless blue shell has been confirmed, though it is unknown whether or not it will act the same way as it did in Mario Kart 64.
Boo – Bring Boo back! It’s another way to get those cheap people in first place to stop saving those bananas for the next red shell. I mean, you can just steal the dang thing! Other than that, it would be great for Battle Mode, where you can steal it from the guy saving the starman (you guys are so cheap, I swear).
UPDATE THE AI
Like the items, the AI in the Mario Kart series have always been a bit on the cheap side. But Mario Kart Wii took it to a whole new level. I don’t know about you, but 150cc in Mario Kart Wii was painfully brutal. Mario Kart 3DS needs to lower the AI level down a bit, back to where it was before.
Another problem with Mario Kart Wii is that there were too many racers on the course at one time. This was partly the reason why they were so scrunched up together, and one hit would send you flying from first to practically last. The increase in AI also led to an increase of Blue Shell usage, which, as we all know, gets really frustrating. I’m glad that Mario Kart 7 is going back to eight players and hope that Nintendo doesn’t change its mind about it, which I doubt they will; it’s pretty much confirmed that Mario Kart 7 will only have 8 racers on the track at a time.
REVAMP BATTLE MODE
I think mostly everyone agrees that the worst part of Mario Kart Wii was its Battle Mode. It was so bad, that I found myself going back to my N64 and DS to play Battle Mode with my brother. Here are a list of things Nintendo needs to do to fix up the flawed Battle Mode:
Get rid of the time limit – The time limit should only be an option, not a necessity. Even though the time limit prevents online players from stalling Battle Mode, it’s shouldn’t have been implemented in local multiplayer. It just ruins the fun. It should be noted that the current screenshots of Battle Mode do not have a time limit shown on the screen.
Get rid of the teams – What went for the time limit also goes for the teams. Teams should only be an option. It ruins all more-than-two-player battle matches. All we want is a good old free-for-all kart battle, and we’re all good. Well guess what? The current screenshots of Battle Mode show the “free-for-all” mode!
Bring back the bombs – And we aren’t talking about Bomb Battle from Double Dash. We’re talking about the N64 and SMK bombs. You know, the bombs in which if you die, you can drive around as a little explosive and try to ram into other players for the ultimate revenge? It’s way better than the stupid ghosts that you become in the other games. Besides, re-implementing the bombs would also prevent online battles from stalling, which was one of the reasons why Nintendo left out free-for-all online battles in Mario Kart Wii. It’s a win-win situation!
Shrink the stages – The Mario Kart Wii battle stages were ridiculously large, to the point where you can just hide from your final enemy for the last thirty seconds. The reason for the large stage is probably to fit the twelve players, but seeing that Nintendo has pushed the number of AI’s back down to eight, there is no longer a need for such large stages.
Bring back Bomb Battle – Okay, this isn’t exactly a necessity, but I do miss Bomb Battle from Double Dash (mostly because I don’t own the game – I had to drive down to my cousin’s house just to play it). Of course, it had problems like extreme lag, but it was still fun (and insanely epic) nonetheless.
Interestingly, Nintendo has mentioned very little about Mario Kart 7’s Battle Mode. Why? Let’s hope it’s for a good reason.
So there you have it guys. Everything I hated about Mario Kart Wii, all jumbled into one list. Hopefully, Nintendo decides to fix what they did wrong, and make Mario Kart 7 the best Mario Kart yet.